someone who documents

Have I taken pictures of the triplex that my husband, Christian is building - that I have been working on too?  Have I taken pictures (outside of my smartphone camera) of the quilt that I've been working on for 6 months?  Have I taken any photos of closing day at the gallery that I ran for the last 3 years and closed this past Tuesday? 

No. 

I've been adverse to stopping all this doing in order to take a photograph or two and now I have a blog with no posts for almost two months!  I've considered making a post every few weeks or so and then I have instead done something like: work on a landscaping plan for the triplex, make plans for our little Siga - the standard poodle puppy that is coming home with us once we move into that triplex, get a tattoo, meet with friends that I haven't met with in a while, etc. etc.  There are times in one's life when the need to document just isn't there.  There are times when the documentation comes naturally...  I'm looking forward to that time coming up again. 

For now, will a few smartphone photos suffice?  For now, a few brief statements about what has been going on? 

Update number 1: Christian and I have a little standard poodle puppy waiting to come home with us as soon as we are ready.  His name is Siga (pronounced, See-gah).  We've wanted a dog for most of the time that we have been together (a long-ish time) and now he is finally in our lives.  We met with his breeder Betsey Beineke in Parker about a month ago and we were suckers for this little guy as soon as we held him in our laps. 

Update number 2: The triplex is under major-construction-all-the-time-so-much-going-on so that we can move in by the end of May.  The last photo that I took of the exterior is so outdated, I feel weird about posting it here, so I'm not going to.  I will try to make a more comprehensive photo collage of how it all looks.  For now, know that our hardwood floors are going in, the drywall and painting is completed, the kitchen cabinets are going in, the bathroom tile is done and waiting to be grouted, the garage doors are on, etc. etc.  I worked on the landscaping plan for several weeks culminating in one big push in April to get it ready for a contractor to review the plan and give us a bid (now in progress).

Update number 3: I've been working on a quilt for 6 months - starting with design in December of 2013, dying fabric in early 2014 (many attempts at a blue and red that would really work - I believe I succeeded), cutting fabric in February and March, then sewing for all of April through... yesterday!  This quilt is really spot on for me.  I had to make one major design change once I saw the finished work on the bed, but I am very very pleased with the completed work.  For me, this is a soulful project, a blanket for our dreaming and sleeping that speaks to the light in our hearts.  It is definitely related to the drawings that I have been making that focus on the primary colors and platonic shapes in relation to me in my visions and dreams. 

 

Update number 4: Danette and I, after almost a year of knowing the day was planned, knowing our time to move on to other projects and new directions is now, and knowing that GroundSwell Gallery has truly benefited many artists and the art community...  after all of this, we finally reached closing day on May 7th.  Our last show with Karen Fisher was a good exhibition with 3 sold artworks of which 10% of the profit went to the Denver chapter of the Alzheimers Association.  We feel great about the show and we feel wonderful about the last 3 years of success we have found with GroundSwell Gallery.  Susan Froyd of the Westword included both Danette and myself in her "Another 100 Colorado Creatives" which shares with Denver it's own contributing creative hard-hitters!  Link to that interview here.

Update number 5: I started making bread all the time...  There is hope for high altitude amateur bakers like myself because of "Artisan Bread in Five Minutes a Day."  

Update number 6: tattoo.  More on that later. "When I look at it, I think of Modern Art... on you." - my acupuncturist, Diana said this, and that makes me feel good about my instincts for putting permanent ink on my skin! 

Direct Connect Denver

Direct Connect Denver's "What If..." as seen at one of 3 venues, GroundSwell Gallery.

Late summer of 2013, Don Fodness and Sabin Aell approached me and my partner (at GroundSwell Gallery), Danette Montoya about putting together a project for artists in Denver.  The basic goal was to create a project for as many artists as we could manage to collaborate with other artists internationaly.  Almost right away, we four felt the awesome energy of people who work well together.  Not only did we begin to organize and define this project, "What if..." but we also began to organize and define ourselves as Direct Connect Denver (DCD).

Might as well make a logo! Should I put in a TM?

The purpose of our new group began to unfold as this:  to create opportunities for ourselves and other artists in Denver and to connect directly with artists, galleries, and general culture in other cities and/or countries through our art work.  The realization we've all made was that most of the events defining success in our careers have been connections, relationships, and experiences with other people in our field.  Read about DCD and "What if..." in Westword and at Colorado Public Radio's website where Danette was interviewed about the project. 

Direct Connect Denver is now our four person team devoted to creating one project per year for  artists to engage with other artists/galleries/communities nationally and internationally.  Our first project, "What If..." just opened on March 14th in Denver, CO, USA and March 15 in Berlin, Germany with over 100 participating artists.

The framework of the project was this:  Sabin Aell catalyzed the relationship with Neurotitan Gallery in Berlin to do a collaborative art swap with artists in Denver.  Each team, DCD in Denver and Neurotitan in Berlin, enlisted 53 artists/art-groups to participate in the project.  Each artist/art-group was asked to pose a "what if...?" question and then was paired randomly with another artist/art-group in the opposite city.  The "what if..." questions were swapped and having receive the question, each artist/art-group had to begin an art work in response to that question.

 I was one of those artists and the question that I posed was, "What if I finally took off my East-Coast-Conservative-Protestant baggage and got naked?"  My partner was Xueh Magrini and her question to me was, "What if all is just an illusion?"  Xu's artwork, as seen on her website, was delightful to see because, being randomly paired, her work fit right into my hope for this project: to let loose! 

If you know my work, you know that I'm not prone to work loosely with pastels and I tend to draw very formally, so you can see what of this collaborative work was made by Xu (though elaborated upon by me) and you can see where my style works in.  I felt that this artwork was an invitation to keep working on artwork for myself (as I have been learning to do in the last year), but to also make it more vulnerable by showing it outside of my studio (or this blog).

All 53 artists in Denver and all 53 artists/art-groups in Berlin got to work responding to their questions knowing that their work would be finished by the asker.  After a month of working, all of the artwork (in Denver) was due to GroundSwell Gallery so that we could ship the artworks to Berlin for the artists there to finish and then exhibit at Neurotitan.  Likewise, Neurotitan had to collect all of their artists works and send them to Denver.  (Organizational note:  Always send all the artwork in one package, one time if you can.  Sending multiple packages on different schedules does not seem to make a schedule run smoothly.  Repeat: Ship everything at once.)  In late January, early February, artists received the artworks that their collaborator started in response to the question they had asked.  Everyone had to work on responding to his/her own question AND responding to another artist's interpretation of that question.  Finally, all of the artworks in Denver were exhibited at Hinterland (Sabin's gallery on Walnut St.), Showpen (Don's gallery/artists' residence on 9th & Santa Fe) and at GroundSwell Gallery.

Left: Sara Guindon & Sophia Martineck, Center: Andrew Huffman & Vela, Right: Travis Hetman & Johann Büsen.  These 3 artworks each became an enmeshed synthesis of the collaborators' styles.  Sara and Sophia's styles seem one in the same, Andrew Huffman transformed Vela's (barely discernible now) gnome into his more rare stream-of-consciousness work and Travis had to break from his negative-space and work within Johann's frenetic overload of imagery.  In my opinion, these are awesome collaborative efforts.  (click on this image to see it larger...  find the gnome?)

In my experience I found it interesting that I had had an idea in my mind of how I would respond to my own question, but when I received my artwork from Xu, I had to re-think, re-imagine my visual "answer" to my own question.  As an organizer of this project, having looked at everyone's original questions, it became evident that some asked "what if..." with a plan for themselves and others asked as though "anything can happen!"  I can't say for sure, but I imagine the latter askers may have felt more free as they attempted to work on another artist's work and deal with the existential problem of answering our own questions.  Of course there is also the issue of working right on another artist's work.  I applaud the artists who boldly negotiated this problem for themselves and created excellent works while dismantling (ahem... destroying...) their partner's input.  I think it was important for artists to see this as a project where it was appropriate and expected that we just do-what-we-have-to-do to make an artwork. 

Left: Tyler Beard & Andres Villareal, Right: Jeffrey King & Nat Hamon.  Both Tyler and Jeffrey dismantled or destroyed their partner's work as a means to making work that is their own.  I point out that their partner's work is collaborative in that it is used as the medium for the artwork seen here.

Finally, I'll just say that this project has been a joy to co-create because of the co-creators.  The best parts about working with Danette at GroundSwell Gallery for the past 3 years have been our ability to lay everything out honestly, our naturally mutual objectives and our equal willingness to work hard with attention to the balance between our workloads.  Working with Don and Sabin on this project has resulted in a similar working style and the four us seem as surprised as we are delighted and motivated to continue working together.  Group projects are not often this easy and fair.

Direct Connect Denver plans to document this project carefully and create a pdf book as well as a print-to-order book of the artworks.  DCD also plans to do another project in 2015.

Thanks for saying so outloud Steven Zevitas.

My people.  Christian Butler measuring our gallery at Left and Danette Montoya working some audio at Right.  We do it because we love the artists and their work.

I may be small potatoes in the art world, but I've been thinking about the problem of the art-market often, I talk about it with people as soon as it seems they're listening, and I don't want to shut up about it.  It is a relief to read this message from art dealer,  Steven Zevitas.  I love art.  I love making art, talking about art, looking at art, thinking about art...  I want art to be the hallowed cultural definer that it can be - and I want it to be healthy and strong.  Below, the whole message as it was sent to me. If anything, skim through to the last third and read the messages to Artists, Art Critics, Museums, Art Magazines, Dealers, etc.

THE THINGS WE THINK AND DO NOT SAY, 
OR WHY THE ART WORLD IS IN TROUBLE

Steven Zevitas
02/28/2014

I had a Jerry Maguire moment last night. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to write. The following thoughts are a bit of a ramble - a sketch really - and I leave it to others to expand on the dialogue. If I had a business manager, I'd probably be told that for someone who makes part of their living as an art dealer, putting these words "out there" is not a particularly bright move. If I had a boss, he might fire me. Fortunately, or maybe unfortunately, I don't have either.

If you were to walk through the aisles of any one of the dozens of art fairs that now take place globally on an almost weekly basis, you would get the sense that the art world is a happier place than Disney World. Big art, big artists, big dealers and big money play their roles in a hypnotic and well-rehearsed production, and toothy smiles abound. Yet this intoxicating spectacle is just the most public manifestation of a problem in the art world that has become increasingly obvious over the past decade: more and more, the cart is pulling the horse.

The horse in question is, of course, aesthetic production and the individuals and institutions that assiduously guard its sanctity. The cart is, at least on the surface, money - and lots of it. Or is it? After all, money does not have motivation or intent, people do. I would  argue that the cart is actually the insidious forces that have, over several decades, narrowed the gap between art and financial instruments, and in doing so have forced art to submit to criteria once reserved for commodities. Money is simply the scapegoat for a problem that is pervasive and systemic.

There was a time when art critics, art historians and curators held substantial sway as to what constituted significant contemporary art. They rode the horse, and collectors and art dealers happily went along for the ride. These days, curators are too often hamstrung by the demands of museum directors who are focused on attendance figures, and board members, who can have very real (non-aesthetic) interests in seeing that certain exhibitions take place. Critics have suffered an even worse fate. Those that are left have been neutered, and can seem more like public relations specialists than critical thinkers. Even the most influential, such as Roberta Smith and Jerry Saltz - both tremendous art critics - can barely move the consensus needle these days. The last time I saw that magic Greenbergian trick successfully performed is when Saltz's 2002 review of a show by Dana Schutz, it can be said, genuinely influenced an artist's rapid ascendency. That was twelve years ago.

"Consensus" may be the most important word in the art world today. Because of the patent impossibility of objectivity in the judgment of art, the notion of consensus has slipped into the vacuum. Nature may abhor a vacuum, but apparently the art world does even more. So much so, in fact, that the word "consensus" has come to be all but synonymous with another art-world favorite, "quality." Their combined weight, piled on layers of subjectivity, has, over time, exerted enough pressure to create a very strange substance: virtual objectivity. You can't see the stuff, but like theoretical dark matter, all evidence suggests that it is there, and that it accounts for a lot of the contemporary art world's mass. It is the substance that turns young artists into overnight superstars, dealers into mega-dealers, and collectors into tastemakers. It keeps the cart in front of the horse and it drives the art market. Unfortunately, it is highly unstable.

The art world and the art market are not the same thing, even though the general-interest press now, tellingly, uses the terms interchangeably. The latter should be subject to the former, but somewhere along the way there was a coup. When the public now thinks about the art world - if they think about the art world at all - the first thing that will likely come to mind is the unfathomable sums of money spent for a painting at the latest auction. I don't think there is any way to overstate the exclusion that this narrative creates.  It moves art closer to commodity status in the collective consciousness, and in doing so, effectively tells the 99% that there is no point in thinking about the art world, or art itself for that matter. The message is clear: If art equals money, and you are not wealthy, then art is not for you.

None of this is to say that the art market is a bad thing. The dealers, collectors, auction houses and other players in the market all perform functions that are necessary if artists are to have a fair shot at making a living from their work. But the way the market is now structured is problematic. The top end is not the problem. The fact that the super-wealthy spend fortunes on works by artists such as Gerhard Richter and Andy Warhol is not particularly disturbing, as those artists are firmly ensconced in the art-historical canon. When it comes to artists like Jeff Koons and Damien Hirst, well, all I can say is, Good luck with that. The trouble really starts with the prices being paid for works by mid-career artists such as Christopher Wool and Richard Prince, and, of greater concern and with more frequency, for the work of emerging artists.

I am all about artists making money, but when a small group of mostly young white male artists such as Joe Bradley, Jacob Kassay, Lucien Smith and Oscar Murillo start to sell work for six-digit amounts, it should raise a lot of red flags. (And I am in no way making critical judgments about these artists and their work - Joe Bradley, for one, may very well turn out to be a generational talent.) The age of the "ism" is over and in its place we have the age of instant "consensus" and the other big art world C word, "context." Right now the "consensus" is that serious art involves raw canvas, a smattering of paint, possibly an exposed stretcher bar, and a "who the fuck cares if it looks done" attitude - some of this work is quite good, by the way. The "context" that this work is presented in is the hippest galleries and art fairs in the world. And collectors who do more listening than looking are lapping it up in large amounts and at absurd prices.

Expressed in the parlance of finance, all of these artists are trading at multiples that, if applied to a publicly traded company such as Google, would make the price of that stock more than $10,000 a share. When someone purchases a Lucien Smith painting for $150,000, they are effectively saying that they feel this asset has such potential for future growth that it warrants such a present price. (For finance geeks, it is a bet that this asset will generate enough future cash flows at a given discount rate to make the asset's net present value a positive number.) All of this sounds very sophisticated, but at the end of the day, and in common English, the only justification for paying such money for emerging artists is speculative. And we all know what happens to a market when too many speculators get involved.

Careless dealers are partly to blame. Auction houses, which can quickly establish a secondary market for an emerging artist, are more to blame. If there is one certainty demonstrated by modern economic history, it is that all things are cyclical. In the end, the music will stop, and when it does, chairs will be scarce. The results will be a decrease in art fairs, gallery closings, and, unfortunately, a lot of artists with ruined careers and no place to exhibit their work. Some, like that wise sage Paul Clemenza, would say:

        "These things gotta happen every five years or so, ten years. Helps to get rid of the bad blood. Been ten years since the last one. You know, you gotta stop them at the beginning. Like they should have stopped Hitler at Munich, they should never let him get away with that, they was just asking for trouble.

Maybe they do. But certainly the severity of such a crisis could be reduced if the art world's internal structure were in better shape.

I think that art constitutes the single most important output of a given culture at any point in time and, therefore, that collecting art is a deadly serious enterprise. These days, collecting has become a form of entertainment and a competitive blood sport, where the quest for access has replaced the desire for aesthetic, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual nourishment. And so, naturally, the things that are the hardest to access have become the most valued (there is the old horse being pulled along again). In my life as a dealer, I am lucky to have worked with a number of collectors who are passionate about art and who dedicate a large quotient of their typically busy lives to it. Then, there is the new breed that all dealers are now more than familiar with. If you are at an art fair, they are easy to identify, because they spend more time examining resumes than looking at art. They also tend to herd together and gravitate toward the same things, which has resulted in a shocking number of private collections that are virtually interchangeable. Let me put it simply: Going to an art fair or gallery and spending a lot of money on the latest "hot" artist is not collecting, it is trophy hunting. When the art world slows down, these individuals will be the first to jump ship, as their motivations for interacting with art in the first place will have evaporated with the value of their art portfolios.

So, how do we fix the mess? Needless to say, this is a complex question. The best I can do is offer counsel directed to some of the art world's key stakeholders:

To artists I say: Keep making art and make it because you have a deep NEED to, not because you WANT to. Follow your own unique visions and not current consensus. You are the bedrock.

To auction houses I say: Cut the bullshit. You are not art dealers, and all the glossy sale catalogues and preview exhibitions in the world will never change that. Refuse to auction works by artists who have emerged from the studio less than three years ago. The few shekels that this reckless practice puts toward your bottom line are far outweighed by the instability you create in the art market.

To art magazines I say: No one cares about another analysis of Jeff Koons or Damien Hirst, except for the two dozen people on the planet who actively trade in their work. Expand your editorial coverage beyond the same forty-or-so preapproved "art stars." Allow exhibition reviewers to take stances that might be in conflict with the interests of your advertising department. And editors, encourage your writers to communicate in a language that can be understood by more than the few who are fluent in artspeak. My favorite section of Artforum has always been the ads, and my guess is that I am not alone.

To museums I say: Expand your boards to include a wider demographic. Wealth and the ability to fundraise should not be the primary determinant of board eligibility. I understand that a stable financial house is essential to museums, but when stability necessitates an oligarchy you have a big problem, and should begin to question the viability of the institution.

To art collectors I say: Think for yourselves. Art collecting is a personal journey, not a social exercise. There is no such thing as a bad acquisition, if the motives and desires that lead to it are genuine. Support your local art communities, as there is likely a lot going on that is worthy of your support.

To art dealers - including myself - I say: Work with artists you believe in, and do the shows you want to do. Refuse to do business with anyone whose motives are even remotely speculative. Spend as much time educating as you do trying to sell. Always remember that it is artists first, everyone else second. Because the silver paintings are selling well, don't ask your artist to make more.

And to the art world I say. . . . You had me at hello.

New American Paintings magazine is a juried exhibition-in-print, and the largest series of artist competitions in the United States. Working with experienced  curators, New American Paintings reviews the work of thousands of emerging artists each year. Forty artists are selected to appear in each bi-monthly edition, many of whom go on to receive substantial critical and commercial success. Additional content focuses on the medium of painting, those who influence its direction, and the role contemporary painting plays within the art world. Visit New American Paintings for more information. Steven Zevitas Publisher, New American Paintings

cut

In the midst of cutting around 900 pieces of fabric to sew, I remember how much I love doing repetitive tasks and zoning out on a sunny morning. 

It's okay I'm different now. I'm different now. I'm different now.

general feelings of shifting shifting
shifting habits and intentions
living and working
and not working
and shifting

I haven't written or shared anything in 2 months.  I realize that I am
a) more disinterested in the "art conversation" than ever,
b) more interested in making art and figuring out what kind of art I want to make,
and c) generally on a different path than 3 years ago.

When I moved to Denver in 2009 with my partner, now husband, Christian, we came with optimism about developing our own architecture/development project in the city and we came with intention to positively contribute and participate in the art community.

The latter was easily accomplished with GroundSwell Gallery - the project of the last 3 years.  I don't mean "easily" as though the work was easy, rather I mean that the intention was accomplished.  I gave it my all and we've got 2 exhibitions to go before I'll walk away from our good gallery.  I'm shifting.

The former, the architecture and development is in the works.  We've got our first project half way under construction and plan to move in late April.  (See right margin for a link to that project on Christian's website).  The desire to contribute our best skills and most quality standards of aesthetics and lifestyle - happening.

So here I am doing what I wanted to do, having fulfilled a dream, shifting the ways of my life...
The beginning of 2013 rocked my world having had a major shock with the deaths of my sister in law and her new husband and unborn baby...  the first half of the year is decidedly a true blur.  The rest of 2013 brought a realization that I don't need to run our altruistic gallery anymore, brought major change in the type of artwork and approach to art-making that I do, and much learning about letting go, grieving and stepping into the present.

I am shifted.  I am shifting.  The artwork that I now make is more about curiosity and discovery, self awareness and self care.  I don't know how else to describe it, but I promise to share more images of what I'm doing.  For our bed, I am working on a large quilt (I believe I've posted about this project), which speaks to the design philosophy of Anni Albers and also the relationship color has with us as dreamers.  I've been making many drawings that are directly related to visions from dreams and from moments of epiphany.  Because of the work I am doing with my psychotherapist, I realize I have visions, and I've become increasingly aware of the direct correlations between my visual mind and my life's narrative.  In all, I've made 7 drawings and I'll probably make more of what I'm calling the "Primary Platonic" drawings. 

The drawing board.

here we all are again... **xmas**

Self, with a capital "S"

To live creatively is a choice. You must make a commitment to your own mind and the possibility that you will not be accepted. You have to let go of satisfying people, often even yourself. 

-Jessica Olien

This year has been a year of throwing off the urge to satisfy others' expectations and norms.  Even though for most of my life I have been doing or working at doing this (Public school in the 90s - "Be yourself!"), there is a lingering code of "right vs. wrong" that causes tension within my Self.  Dealing with this tension is an important thing, but I also see it as a diversion from the living and realizing that is particularly me.

Jessica Olien's writing on Slate.com about the acceptance-or-not of the Creatives in our culture is a message that highlights the root of this tension I refer to.  Read the article here.

My wish for the world is that we can self-realize.  Creative or not, consider who you want to be (I think this comes from knowing who you really are), and be that person.  No time to lose.  Never too late.

Self, graphite + colored pencil on paper, 2013

What kind of artist am I?

Me, at right, deliberating. **

At the beginning of this month, I participated in a panel discussion on Provisional painting.  At the start, I was introduced as a curator and founder of GroundSwell Gallery and as a conceptual artist.  Albeit the moderator did hesitate around the term "conceptual," I found myself befuddled as my mind tried to respond to the larger issue: What kind of artist I am.

This is a familiar topic for me nonetheless.  Most people, upon discovering that I am an artist, ask me, What kind of artist?  Am I a painter?  Or... ?  Most people who are outside of the art community immediately wonder if I am a painter.  I'm amused by this initial thought: Artist = Painter.  I imagine this is a result of one's art education only reaching the middle school level, so familiarity with artists ranged from Monet to Picasso to Pollack to Warhol (MAYBE Warhol).  All painters.

Anyway, my response is usually that yes, I do paintings sometimes, but my art making and media choices are a result of an initial inspiration.  I usually have a vision that relates to philosophy or a personal discovery and that vision leads to a media choice that makes sense.  I just follow my intuition in answering the question, "How can I realize this vision?"  I don't consider myself an expert in any one media, but I do consider myself adept at many media and broadly experienced with various techniques and skill-sets.  Blahdy blahdy blahdy, is this person still listening?  Is what I am saying ringing any bells?  Maybe...  so, sometimes I do paintings.  Sometimes I make sculpture.  I've worked in performance.  I enjoy making large installations, site-specific and otherwise.  Right now, I'm making drawings on paper.  Another aspect of my work is that I tend to work in a very repetitive way.

In the case of the panel discussion, which was also about a vague matter (Provisional painting), I realized I was now talking to a group of people who speak the language of art, of media, of technique and the artist's practice.  These individuals had the background information on the subject and I felt compelled to answer this question more in depth.  However, I was also posed with the categorization of conceptual artist.  I began my response by saying that I had never actually considered myself a conceptual artist, but I could see why she, the moderator, might say so.  My work, being of different media and techniques from project to project, is often linked to a concept, which I describe alongside my work (examples: www.rebeccapeebles.com).  The concept from one project to the next may string along familiar modalities of thinking and working or similar goals despite varied processes toward reaching the goal.  So by the end of my dribbling, befuddled artspeak, I actually said out loud, "Well, maybe you're right.  Maybe I AM a conceptual artist."

No, that's not true.  How bizarre that I walked all around that self-definition-moment undecided, almost desperate to end the tail-spin, and then I just accepted the assumption.  So having given it some thought for a few more weeks, I'll say what I have meant to say for a long time.  I am not a painter.  I am not a sculptor.  I am not an installation artist.  I am not a conceptual artist.  I am not a performance artist.  I am not a print maker.  I am not a textile/fiber artist.  I am not an illustrator.  I wouldn't even call myself an interdisciplinary artist (although that vague term is perhaps the closest fit).

I am an artist.  That is all I am.  I utilize all of who I am and what I know and what I have as I need to.  I make art.
That's enough for me.
I'm certainly not trying to fit into any categories for catalogs or historical documents.  I could care less about my CV or resume.  I even think it's time to re-write my Artist's statement to say less about what kind of artist I am.
There's no reason for me to try to be the right kind of artist or make the kind of art that's popular.  I don't believe in making art for the market or even for an audience - those aims are destructively distracting from my art practice.
I make art for (first) myself and (second) for the love in it and (third) for beauty.

To the moderator of that discussion, thank you for helping me realize who I am not and therefore, who I am... as an artist.

**photo credit - Rebecca Vaughn

3 on Lawrence, under construction.

What does all this building material amount to in my life?

My husband's current project, OUR triplex, 3 on Lawrence, now under construction.  The 2nd floor is on and the walls are about to go up.  That boom truck is loading thick sheetrock into the building which will be part of the super-insulated exterior and partition walls. (Meaning, these 3 units will be super quiet and super efficient with heat/cool!)

That 18ft. opening is for a sliding glass door and window system!  Each unit gets one to look out over a courtyard patio!

Brad Peebles holds down the 2nd floor

That guy on the 2nd floor is my Dad.  He's been out on the work-site for a week working with Christian and the other carpenters/laborers.  It's a hard job, but this project is going to be beautiful!  Big love and thanks to my amazing husband, Christian and my generous Dad.

You can see the renderings for this project on Christian's website: www.studiolimited.com  (there's a link to it on the Left margin of this blog too).

Moving Day

Today I moved my studio from a 120 sq. ft. room (our 2nd bedroom) to a 600 sq. ft. SPACE (emphasis on the "space").
snapshots of the 14th Ave. Studio (2 yrs of claustro-arto-phobia):

These photos were taken by cramming myself into the opposite corners of the room

and the new 4747 Studio ((sigh) take it all in):

As usual, these photos don't begin to convey the enormous difference this will make for my art making life.

My studio mates: John McEnroe and Bruce Price.  I am stoked.

Here's to a new adventure! 

Installation - One Work of Intention

Yesterday My husband I installed this painting, one of three in a series called, Works of Intention, that I made in 2011.  My patron, Tara Emrick and Dr. Brian Kono opened Highland Integrative Pediatrics (H.I.P., for short) over in the LoHi neighborhood of Denver last Spring to answer a need for more holistic pediatric care.  Dr. Brian's words:

There is a way to combine the best of natural and conventional healing in one center.  We don't have to be solely eastern or western practitioners and patients.  We can integrate the two and improve the health of our children and our family in a holistic way that treats each child and family unit as a unique and valued member of our practice community.

Tara runs programming for H.I.P. Studio in a spacious studio within the building.  H.I.P. Studio provides therapeutic classes for meditation, yoga, grief counseling and various health and parenting education classes.  Tara has been a patron of my artwork in the past and I am honored to have my artwork influence the soulful life and work of this lady.  

This Mantra, called the Gayatri Mantra reads as follows (first in Sanskrit, then in English): 

Aum Bhur Bhuva Svah
Tat Savitur Varenyam
Bhargo Dhevasya Dhimahi
Dhiyo Yo Nhaha Prachodayat

On the absolute reality and it's planes, 

On that finest spiritual light, 

We meditate,

As remover of obstacles

That it may inspire and enlighten us. 

The purpose of this artwork is to lend intention to a space and to express warmth beginning with deep hues of heat and lifting up to the yellow hues of sunny lightness.  The lettering of the mantra is monochromatic (one derivative off its corresponding band of color) to increase the sense of rising warmth and lightness.  The mantra is not so obvious as to be quickly read and forgotten.  To read it requires a moment of looking and may lend a pause for meditation.  

Thanks Christian! 

There are three Works of Intention.  The other two are the Anusara Yoga Invocation and the 4 Dharma's of Ghampopa.  Each of these, including the Gayatri Mantra are 7.5' x 7' and were originally installed side by side by side to fill a foyer, floor to ceiling, for a yoga studio in Denver.

Anni Albers... again and again.

Anni Albers - Second movement II - intaglio print

I'm working on making a quilt for my bed that is at once my bed-spread and my artwork.  I'm unabashedly a person who likes to make all the "things" in my home count and mean something to my soulful-living-self.  At the start of this undertaking, I went back to my favorite textile designer of all time - Anni Albers.  Wife and partner to Josef Albers, she was also a student of Bauhaus, and the two of them came to the United States as part of the mid-century Jewish flight from Europe that so enriched our culture in more ways than most of the American public has any understanding for.  Both of them, through their teaching, design work, and art work made strong marks on the American aesthetic we take for granted today.  They did that through the framework of color theory and design theory that many attribute to Bauhaus, but Anni and Josef were truly unique voices nonetheless.  They integrated art with design in a way that significantly elevated public and private environments and culture.  Without going on and on about who they are - everyone should look them up, books listed below - I'll just share a few images of Anni Albers' printed patterns intended for textile printing.  These are the inspiration - through their aesthetic and theory - for my own design.  It is my intention to ride the inspiration of her design theory and art work to create a quilt that reflects my own soulful place in my bed (along with my partner Christian).  I'm dyeing the fabric now... process pictures are in order I guess, so I know I'll be posting about this project again.

 

Anni Albers - Triadic Series D - print

The sketch that I'm working with, color palette in progress:

Books:

Anni Albers : Selected Writings on Design - The fifteen essays gathered here illustrate Anni Albers's concept of design as the pursuit of wholeness.... (wow, seriously changed my work when I read this).

 Josef + Anni Albers : Designs for Living - this book was given to me by a mentor who gets me, Michael P. Johnson.  He pointed out that my husband and I have much in common with this dynamic pair and I am forever inspired by that comment.
 
There are SO MANY books on these 2 most influential artists/designers.

optimism revisited

Created by John D. Boswell, these remixes introced by PBS digital studios of a few old PBS favorites are super entertaining to me.  I think what's most appealing is the nostalgia for a childhood feeling of optimistic possibility and the your-dreams-can-come-true era of the 80s and 90s.  It was a great big and ambiguous feeling then (and it still is in a lot of ways), but it was inspiring, and I guess we eventually realized we had to be innovative and creative to clarify all those ambiguities.  It was Reading-Rainbow-good.  During that time of only 10 - 20 television stations and limited programming, PBS held down a motivating, inspiring, the sky's the limit attitude and I guess I can trace a lot of my optimism and feelings of hopefulness about life back to that (ok, I'll give my parents and some of my public school teachers a lot of credit too).  It was a general attitude of coaching our country's children into believing in themselves and believing in their middle-class dreams.  Not bad.  Thanks PBS.  ...really.

Something I think I know + telling a 14 year old man-child about it.

I used to be a nanny for Atticus and Ruby.  We kicked it together almost every day when they were between the ages of 6 - 9 and 3 - 6 (or something like that).  It was such an amazing job that I still marvel to have been paid to do it.  I imagine Atticus and Ruby will be friends of mine for life.  We try to describe our relationship as though I'm an older cousin - somewhere in between adults and kids in the family member spectrum.  Atticus will be 14 in a week, and his parents wanted me to express a message or letter to him as part of a collection from "older" people in his life.  A message about life because, well, he'll probably stop listening to all of us soon - 14 is that moment when you insist upon self-realization right?  With that in mind, I wrote the below pictured message to my friend Atticus. 

To connect this to this blog/forum, this is what my art is about too... more and more all the time. 

Co Incidence

Co Incidence installation, view upon entry, with one of two portraits at Pablo's Coffee 1300 Pennsylvania St., Denver, CO

Co
Incidence
Coincidence

I'm talking about two things that happen at once, partners in incidence, existing and acting simultaneously whether in or out of balance.  In the case of this art installation, Co Incidence, that I did at Pablo's Coffee (Pennsylvania St. at 13th Ave., Denver, CO), I intended to highlight a nuance of understanding of this term as described by Carl Jung that particularly affected me as I work to increase my personal, mental stability.

Whew... stay with me.
Jung describes the coincidence of opposites as an achievable state of mind wherein opposing states such as chaos and peace of mind can be balanced by placing one's awareness directly between or in the middle of the two states.  This is an exercise in the mind usually applicable when experiencing overly negative or painful states of mind.  For example, I have a habit of critical self judgement that is usually productive, but, when extreme, can make me feel like a helpless failure.  When I'm feeling this way, I am aware of myself as self supporting and a person of intelligence but the extreme feeling of failure or helplessness keeps me distant from these more useful modes of being.  Jung says that if we can become aware of ourselves as a coincidence of these two opposites that even in these most off-balance experiences we can pull back into balance.  We can reengage with ourselves as whole beings.  It's hard work, but I've been able to do this a few times and when that point of awareness, balance and then compassion for myself arrives (at the co incidence), I am lighter, more peaceful, more clear-thinking, and able to forgive myself for the overly critical, self effacing judgement I've imposed.  At that point, I can even think more clearly about why that critical judge flew off the handle like that.

When I first realized this possibility,  I shared what I had read (in Healing into Life and Death, by Stephen Levine) with my therapist and was feeling particularly hopeful about my personal welfare as I drove home from our session.  In a most typical Colorado way, a storm was moving through and the sunshine burst through from behind me and a rainbow appeared ahead.  The rainbow - a representation of the coincidence of opposites: sunny-day, rainy day.

So I went to my studio and made a portrait of myself having skin with a rainbow gradient of color as my skin.

The rainbow that I made at Pablo's, perfectly level, at average eye-level, cutting through all of the spaces inhabited by cafe goers, represented to me a kind of settling awareness and a moment of looking around, seeing where you are.  The rainbow colors are uniquely uplifting in their color-grouping (different than any other group of colors).  The whole installation evolved out of intuition from the moment I saw the rainbow from the car that late afternoon.  For me, it's personal - a part of the journey of self healing and self balancing and self love that I've been on throughout adulthood and that has increased since the death of my Sister in Law, Whitney and her husband Dave.  For everyone else, it's a moment of present awareness and recognition for the feeling you get when a rainbow sets in.  The rainbow colors of my skin tone (there are two self portrait drawings directly across the room from each other) may imply different things to different people, but to me it was seeing the rainbow in myself.  It was seeing the coincidence of the opposites and placing myself there in order to be a more complete expression of myself.

Formal presentation of this work is viewable on my website, www.rebeccapeebles.com under "Installations."
Many thanks to Christian Butler, AnnaMarie Fidel-Rice, Gretchen Marie Schaefer and Pattie Lee Becker for their assistance in realizing this project.

I don't know what Art is.

I'm at home sick today so maybe that will explain my wild statement about not knowing what Art is in the subject line.  Or, maybe this is just an expression of Zen knowing and not knowing and I'm about to unleash some real higher thinking right now.

Unlikely.

I bring this up because I just read in the September 2013 of The Atlantic, Out is the New In : Why outsider art - dirty, brutish, and raw - is all the rage by Sarah Boxer.  From what I gather, in my experience as an artist and with running GroundSwell Gallery, the tendency with most artists is to do what they believe is their "art" and it's usually noticeable when the spark of authenticity is not there.  I'd say that meeting the artist and talking with him or her about the art is usually a good test to find out if this is really Art or not.  Sometimes I do come across folks who are making what I would consider to be decoration or very creative design projects.  Sometimes it seems an artist could dive more deeply into his or her art-making but is distracted by the notion of "reaching the audience," pleasing gallerists, or making works that are "consumable" or "priced to sell."  When it really comes to Contemporary Art Trends, it has nothing to do with, on the whole, what artists are making.  When it comes to Outsider Art today, we're all outsiders for the most part...  The insiders are handpicked by a few know-it-alls looking to make money right now.  This is, unfortunately, how our culture is defined now - not as much by authentic expressions in response to our time, but a framing of "culture" utilized to create a market demand.

Sarah Boxer's article expresses that many outsider artists were psychotic in some fashion, "madman," brut, traumatized, and others were just doing their thing, uneducated, but owning it and practicing art-making as an innate calling.  My favorite reference is to Bill Traylor, an African-American artist in Alabama "discovered" by a younger artist, Charles Shannon, who was enchanted by Traylor's serenity in his art making.  In this case and the case of the "brut," the artist is not driven by expectations, ideas, trends and money of the "Art World."

Oh my, that sounds attractive albeit a little isolated.

Then, the isolated artist (maybe he's psychotic, maybe he's a hermetic monk) and, more importantly, his or her artwork are discovered by someone of influence within the upper echelons of the "Art World."  The know-it-alls are enchanted by the never-before-known genius of this artist and see the art as a another get-rich-quick opportunity: "Oh, Auction House B just went nuts over Henry Darger's obsessive paintings of children!  The crazy sh*t this new-found artist makes out of mud and her own feces is going to hit the market like a firecracker!"

I'm starting to sound bitter, and maybe that's because for the lasts 10 - 15 years I mostly believed that any hardworking artist could make a living off of their ARTwork.  At this point in my artmaking life, I don't really think that's true.  Almost every artist I know has other work that supports them and they're lucky if that work is a healthy utility of their creative talent.  It seems to me, especially after reading Don Thompson's The $12 Million Stuffed Shark, that "Making It" as an artist has two very separate meanings.

Making It! option #1:  Make art in such a way as to brand yourself.  Make sure that people know what you look like or what your artwork looks like by creating an indelible propaganda with your art.  Often this entails tapping into the neuroses of our culture streaming out of popular media trends already driven by marketing tactics and economic models.  Hustle.  Get to know as many people hustling as you can - power in numbers!  Always be in the right place at the right time.  Get into publications, known-name-gallery exhibitions, museums, collections and make sure that you are international in your reach.  Then, there's a .0001% chance that someone in the Auction House arena will PICK YOU.  Yesssssss!

Making It! option #2:  Make art in such a way as to increase awareness, increase tactile and emotional intelligence, and increase truth and joy in this world.  Start with yourself.  It takes a lifetime of practice to reach a point where your artwork may affect the larger culture.  Attend to the inspiration that evolves out of your art practice and the life that you live with friends and family and work.  Pay attention to your dreams and to your intuition and make what you envision.  Make what you want to make.  This isn't a dress rehearsal - make what reflects who you know yourself to be.  If you can do this, talent or no talent (remember the outsider artist), there is a 99.99999% chance that you will die happy.   There is also a .0001% chance that someone in the Auction House arena will PICK YOU.  (...whatever...)

What I mean to say is,
No matter what an artist does, whether making art or making propaganda, whether making mud and feces sculptures, or making perfectly square black lacquered cubes, whether working on the inside or the outside, inside-out or outside-in, the chance of "making it" like a rock star is slim to none.  But, the chance of living a happy, fulfilled, self-knowing, wise and serene existence is pretty high.

I say I don't know what Art is because I see it as ephemeral and in flux.  I know that when I look at many works on the walls at museums, galleries, and in my own home, I understand the work to be "Art."  Sometimes I know nothing about the artist, sometimes I know more than enough.  I have tastes and preferences though even work that I don't aesthetically connect to can move me.  I know that when I set about to make art, I am either working from my own inspiration or I'm plagued by a sense of pleasing others.  When I think about Outsider Art and Insider Art, I realize that either can be Art, and that one or the other is being promoted by those in the Art dealing game.

Art Art Art Art Art Art Art Art Art Art Art

Remember that game where you say a word as many times as it takes to begin to lose meaning and seem to be an arbitrary sound coming out of your mouth?  You can do it with any word.  I think it could be important to do that exercise with the word "art" every once in a while so as to remember how arbitrary the word and it's attending subject matter really are.

Now, I'm going to go and look at some art at two different art shows going on in town.  Then I plan to head back home and make some art with 10 lbs. of leftover porcelain clay I've been musing over in my studio for about a year.

Let it be known that my opinions change and my knowledge is always being reformed. 

2 years and counting

GroundSwell Gallery, the gallery that Danette Montoya and I conceived in May 2011, has now been operating for over 2 years.  We had our 2nd birthday in May, celebrating aesthetically and skillfully advanced artwork by Denver's own artists; celebrating consistent and fair exhibition opportunities for professional rising artists; celebrating our own achievement as one of Westword's Masterminds for 2012; and celebrating all the positive and constructive relationships we've built with artists and designers, musicians and performers! 

The warm season began with color,

Andrew Huffman 4U2C, April 2013, yarn installation detail with drawing at back

with poignant, personal artworks by deep-thinking artists,

Jaimie Henthorn, Body Building, May 2013 and Evan Isoline, Poltergeists, June 2013

with new media exhibitions and with a new mural

alley-mural west of gallery, June 2013, Kevin Hennesy, Mario Zoots, and Ryan Ingersol

and currently continues with an exquisite exhibition of 39 local artists' postal collaborations - Exquisite Corpse : Stamped & Mailed.

please follow the Exquisite Corpse link above to see more images from the exhibition

To say the least, running GroundSwell Gallery for these few years has felt like a time-warp (Did that just happen?) and has pushed Danette and myself to utilize as many skills and as much energy as we didn't know we had.  We've realized that as artists running a gallery for artists, that we can provide a unique experience for those wanting to exhibit (as much as possible) on their own terms.  We've opened ourselves to the ideas of other artists, designers, musicians and diverse creatives and put our curatorial muscles to work.  The gallery makes us very proud of Denver artists.  The gallery has inspired us, taught us  many lessons and has helped us realize who we can be.

I am thankful for the history we've made so far with our 3,672 square feet granted to us by GroundSwell Cannabis Boutique.  All we did was get started...  and now our desire to provide aesthetically adequate and credible space for the art of Denver's own has been achieved... and then some!  I hope you'll visit (we're open every day) 3121 East Colfax Ave., Denver, CO, 80206.

I would like to extend heartfelt thanks to Danette Montoya, Don Novak, Christian Butler, Sara Guindon, Mario Zoots, Christy, Shannon and Mary of GroundSwell Cannabis Boutique, Susan Froyd, Mark Sink and to all the brilliantly talented artists who have worked with us! 

Milos and Crete, Greece - June 2013

For most of the month of June, Christian and I traveled in Greece.  The original purpose for the trip was to attend our friends, Marietta and Strati's wedding.  Ultimately, the trip became a much needed vacation, a time for recovering and renewal, disconnecting, slowing down, slower, slower...  slower...  As we currently embark upon big plans and big dreams and direct the creative drive of our life as Artist and Architect, this travel reminded us of the simplicity of living. 

We intended that the trip not only honor our own personal happiness and balance but also to honor the lost joy and adventure, lost love and union, lost family of Whitney Butler Dunlap and David Dunlap.

Truly a beautiful trip with beautiful memories, realizations, friendships, landscapes, food and culture - our travel to Milos and Crete:

whole missing person

Water-gazing - a must.  Milos, Greece (June 2013)

This Summer has been a real Summer.

What I mean by this:  Instead of amping up all Spring toward big summer projects and obligations, I spent the Spring recovering from this past Winter's difficult and emotionally stressful event, the death of my husband's sister Whitney and her husband David.  This past January, we found ourselves taken on a trip through horror and sadness that lasted through early Spring.  I started seeing a therapist with whom I've been able to rise out of sadness and the weight of evil that passed through our lives.  Because of this difficult period in my life, I have also had to deal with other personal struggles that presented themselves boldly in the midst of grief.  2013 has been a year focused on my deepest self and casting off the spells of pop culture, progress culture, and anything else that does not serve my happiness. 

We went to Greece (I'll make a post about that next) for our friends' wedding and for tranquility, timelessness, sun, salt-water and sand.  Since returning, it's been full steam ahead with GroundSwell Gallery (next next post) and with my own commitment to SUMMER for Summer's sake.

Like I said, this Summer has been a real Summer.  The trip to Greece was a good kick off - I got a taste for lying in the sun and enjoying the simple sensation of warmth.  I've been more focused on hiking and being outdoors, spending time with friends, reading novels, practicing yoga and running and making time to cook.  All of this is not that unusual for me - the difference is that I feel unhinged and committed to living and loving without the distraction of: GO GO GO life is moving along without you if you don't run and keep up with "them" and do as much as you can to show the world how AMAZING you are all the time, no stopping, no other priorities, don't be left behind, keep up the good work Rebecca, you really owe it to the world.

blah blah blah

This is all to say, I'm living.  I put this blog aside for a few months because each time I went to write or share a photo I felt the pressure of "Go Go Go" and just didn't need to participate in that run-around.  Everything has to be re-identified with this basis for doing:  I do this because I find fulfillment and joy for myself.